Lindsay Arp, 1 Life Journey of Courage and Resilience

Lindsay Arp – 1 Life Journey of Resilience

Some stories find their way to us in the most unexpected moments. On a quiet Saturday morning, I received a call from a woman named Lindsay Arp. She simply wanted to schedule an appointment to have her eyebrows done—something most of us see as a small detail, but for Lindsay, it was a painful reminder of what she had survived.

Almost fifteen years ago, an act of unimaginable violence left 70% of her body severely burned and took from her not only her natural brows, but pieces of her identity, confidence, and everyday comfort.

Lindsey Arp lives in Lewisburg, Tennessee. After our call, she sent me a link to her appearance on the Dr. Phil show, where she bravely shared her story with the world.

In that moment, I knew I had to help her. What began as a routine appointment quickly became something deeper—a chance to give back, to restore even a small part of what she had lost, and to honor a survivor whose strength has carried her through darkness most of us will never know. I immediately asked her to file an application so I could add her to our Pro Bono Fund. She has been coming to us for the last 10 years so her eyebrows can look good even if one of them is covered in scars.

My name is Lindsey Arp and I’m a domestic violence survivor. Thank you for having me here today to tell you my story. On April 11th my life and the lives around me changed forever. My boyfriend at the time dosed boiling oil on me while I was asleep at 2:30 in the morning. 13 years later I still can’t put into words the pain I felt. .I don’t even think there is a word strong enough to use to describe the pain, shock and the reality I still continue to live in. Ryan and I were together for about 4 1/2 years. The relationship had it’s up in down like every relationship does. He was a very controlling person.

I started to notice him more controlling especially when I became pregnant with our first daughter. He became more physically and verbally abusive. Throughout the relationship it continued to escalate. I felt that I was living a double life, to my friends and family I had everyone believing he was my prince Charles but in all reality I was living a nightmare. I was embarrassed of the person I became. Before I would leave the house I had to make sure I had enough makeup on to hide my bruises and marks that Ryan put on me.

As our relationship was coming to an end I became very distant towards him, that’s when he started noticing he was losing control over me. When I looked at him I felt nothing but hatred, anger, confusion, betrayal and most of all this was the father of my 2 daughters. I couldn’t believe the situation I put my 3 children in. I was on the top of the world becoming a teen mom at 15 beating the odds by graduating high school 1 year early, going to night school 2 times a week and working providing for my son.

I went into the nursing field at 18, getting my business degree and becoming a homeowner at 22. The night of April 11, 2011 I was life flighted to Vanderbilt Medical University in Nashville. I was admitted into the burn unit. I can remember the first thing they said to me, they had to shave my head, I seriously thought they were joking, and I started laughing then that laughter turned into tears, not knowing how severely burnt I really was. I spent 136 days in ICU and a few months in step down which meant I was stable enough to be in my own room. I had over 26 surgeries in order to save my life.

Today I’m at 43 and 9 reconstruction surgeries. Speaking of surgery I have one scheduled on April 1st. I just remember having breathing tubes, oxygen masks, feeding tubes, blood transfusions dealing with skin grafts after skin grafts, like it wasn’t a big deal it became the norm to me. One of the hardest moments for me was looking in a mirror. It took 6 months and 6 days. When I had get up to do my therapy I would have someone put a sheet over the mirror.

The first time I ever looked at myself I was in disbelief I thought I was in a dream and wanted to wake up out of this nightmare. My mom, there are only 2 words that I use to describe her: MY ANGEL, she spent every night with me at Vandy, she slept in a chair beside me for 136 days, she became my personal nurse while in the hospital, she ran circles around them. She always made me feel like everything was going to be ok, only when that seemed to be the most impossible thing to ever believe in, she made me see light at the end of the tunnel. While she was trying to make sure everything was going smoothly with my kids, my mortgage, my credit cards, and my car payment, she was losing everything she ever worked for.

She lost her home due to a foreclosure, lost her job, her car, and her credit went to shambles. There are no amount of words that can express how sorry I am, please know mom, I am forever grateful for everything you have done and you still continue to do. On Mother’s Day I found out Ryan’s parents had custody of my children. I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore. My mom and sister gave me hope, and encouragement to fight this obstacle. My sister Lisa came down from Massachusetts to visit me. While she was here she contacted The Legal Aid Society for help and advice.

They provided me with five attorneys assisting me with nine different cases involving various services such as obtaining and extending Order Of Protection, a will, a durable power of attorney for financial matters, a durable power of attorney for healthcare decisions, filling a victims compensation and more. On October 1st, 2012, Ryan was sentenced for 1st degree attempted premeditated murder and ws ordered to serve 40 years at 35.

As I looked at Ryan in the courtroom during the trial I didn’t see any remorse or any emotions, instead I could see him slightly smiling but honestly that’s ok because I came outta this fighting like you wouldn’t believe. All because of a selfish choice “IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU THAN NO ONE ELSE WILL” Because I stood up to Ryan and stood my ground I am forever scared not just physically but internally. It took me several years later that I could take my children swimming on a hot summer day, or to enjoy a simple picnic just to be able to enjoy the sun is a beautiful feeling.